Cursed Be The Monsters
by skullfarmer
Summary: A HARRY POTTER/DOCTOR WHO crossover
1. Default Chapter

These characters belong to JK Rowling; I don't know who exactly owns the  
characters from DOCTOR WHO.  
  
CURSED BE THE MONSTERS  
An experimental DOCTOR WHO/HARRY POTTER crossover   
  
Albus Dumbledore crossed the last T in the word "mittelalter." He put the quill down and looked up from the letter. He stared across the room, into the far corner of his office. He felt as if something were about to happen; as the seconds passed,the feeling intensified. The energy inside the room had changed in a way he could not define. The usual noises of the office seemed to elongate and slow down; he could differentiate between each and every one. The subjects of pictures on the walls continued snoring.   
Dumbledore tensed; as old as he was, his senses were as sharp as they had  
always been. He readied himself to cast one heavy mother of a spell-  
Fawkes ruffled his feathers. The burst of noise filled the office,and   
freed Dumbledore from distraction. Fortunately,Fawkes had taken action before his elderly fool of a companion had zoned out indefinitely.  
Dumbledore stood up. He stretched,and then walked to Fawkes's perch.   
The bird looked as nervous as a phoenix could. It couldn't be near a Burning  
Day; Fawkes's plumage was full and vivid.  
"You feel it too,don't you?"   
Fawkes hopped onto Dumbledore's waiting arm. He burst into brief flight,landing amidst the mess on the desk. He looked up.  
"I'm coming," Dumbledore said.  
He walked backwards,retracing his steps. Finally,he bumped into the desk.  
He eased himself on top of it. Fawkes rested his head in Dumbledore's lap.   
"What is the matter?" What could possibly happen? No one could Apparate or   
Disapparate inside Hogwarts. A gang of Death Eaters could burst into the  
office; he could destroy them with a look.   
"What would you call a group of Death Eaters,Fawkes? A murder is already  
taken. So is a gaggle...there's a word for a group of jellyfish,but It's  
escaped me momentarily..."   
He chuckled.  
"Look at us,Fawkes."  
Fawkes began to sing.   
He relaxed,listening to the music. Fawkes knew him unnervingly well. He   
closed his eyes,and the tension faded. He wiped a few tears away when they  
came. He couldn't help crying; music this beautiful inevitably moved him. He  
had once said that music was magic beyond anything done at Hogwarts and   
he meant it. Fawkes could have burst into a grindcore gurgle and it would   
have been sublime. The bird and his music were immortal; he felt no sadness  
knowing they would outlive him. What he felt amounted to simple paranoia,  
which was perfectly healthy in sparing doses.   
"I'm an old man," Dumbledore said. "I've earned the right to be eccentric."  
Fawkes tilted his head. Dumbledore fed him a treat.   
"I'm not leaving you,old friend. Not for a good long time."  
He went back to his chair. He resumed writing,and Fawkes stalked around on  
his desk. Eventually,he peered over the upside-down paper,and then sat in  
Dumbledore's lap,only his head showing over the desk,trying to read the words. Dumbledore knew he could understand both German and Italian,as well as a number of other languages; the only challenge was deciphering his owner's handwriting.  
Dumbledore had just begun to debate whether "ubermenschverruckterin" could actually be a word when a strange metallic wheezing drew his attention back to the corner. As he watched,a blue police box materialized out of nothingness.Dumbledore had expected something far more sinister. He had seen a multitude of films about alien invaders. The appearance of such a mundane object did not alarm him in the least; instead,he felt instant fascination with the mysterious box,an intellectual curiosity he could not resist indulging. He stood. Fawkes relocated from his knee to his shoulder.  
Arr,matey,he thought.   
He stepped closer. He reached out to touch the surface-  
-and the door of the box opened...from the inside.  
A young woman appeared out of the dark interior,her back to Dumbledore."-a   
carnivorous organism,like last time," the young woman said,laughter in her   
voice. She wore a jacket,a single word emblazoned on the back: ACE. "Sending   
me out to scope-"   
It was then that she turned. Her mouth dropped open when she saw Dumbledore;  
Over his glasses,he smiled at her,bowing slightly; she had a cherubic face,  
but there was mischief in her eyes. He sensed something else in them-as if   
she had wandered far and wide with no set destination. Her face held   
knowledge beyond her years. She wore the jacket, a pair of black boots,  
dark jeans and a shirt that revealed the letters ALM DEA.   
"Napalm Death?" he asked,delighting in her answering grin.   
Fawkes sang a single note. It vibrated in the air,even as it dissipated.  
From inside the police box: "What was that?"   
"Professor,there's someone here," the young lady said. "There's a bird with   
him." She said this into the box.   
Someone else emerged from inside the box. Dumbledore wondered how many  
other people were in there. The man wore brown corduroy trousers and a   
crazy-colored sweater with question marks all over it; on top of that was   
a white coat with red lining; he carried an umbrella under his arm. He was   
a funny little man with a rubbery face, gingery hair and a scientific air about him.   
"Ah,hello," he said. "I'm the Doctor. You've met my young friend Ace."  
He said the last part as if Dumbledore would regret it.  
"Albus Dumbledore,headmaster of Hogwarts. This is Fawkes."  
"As in Guy Fawkes?" Ace asked.  
"Indeed."  
"Wicked!"  
Dumbledore's grin widened. "Not in the least."  
"No,I meant-"  
"Where did you say we are?" the Doctor interrupted.  
"Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry. Or Wizardry And Witchcraft.  
Whichever you prefer."  
"Are you a wizard?" Ace asked.  
"I am," he nodded.  
Ace beamed.  
"There are certain spells and enchantments cast on Hogwarts," Dumbledore   
said. "They should have prevented your vehicle from...well,we call it   
Apparating."  
"My TARDIS has a mind all her own,Headmaster."  
"TARDIS?"  
"Stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space."  
"Then you're time travelers."  
"Oh yes," the Doctor said.   
Like everything he said,the words were full of mystery.  
"It looks like a telephone box."  
"It's dimensionally transcendent."  
Of course,this was not a new concept to him; he had been in his share of tents with three-bedroom apartment interiors. But he still felt curious. After a long moment,Dumbledore asked "Could I see?"   
"Go ahead."  
They stepped out of his way. Dumbledore had to duck down; Fawkes held onto   
him as he did. He crossed the dark threshold,and then passed from darkness  
into the white,cool room dominated by the strange console in the middle. There was a door in the far wall. How big could this vehicle be?  
Fawkes made a noise in his throat.  
"I know,I know," Dumbledore said.  
He could sense someone behind him.  
Dumbledore turned; the Doctor stood in the entryway,withdrawing his   
hand from one of his pockets,and he held a bulky package.  
"Would you like a jelly baby,Professor?" He held the bag out.  
Dumbledore took the bag. "Would you like a lemon drop?"  
"Two," the Doctor said. "One for Ace."  
He dug through his pockets and came up with two lemon drops. He  
handed them to the Doctor. Then he investigated the bag; it was   
full of jelly beans not unlike Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. He  
selected a red one,hoping it wouldn't taste like blood. He popped it  
into his mouth,savoring the pleasant cherry taste.  
"Headmaster," the Doctor said,"I hate to be abrupt,but do you have a   
telescope?"  
"A telescope?" Dumbledore asked. "Why,yes,we do. In the Astronomy tower."  
"Could I use it?"  
"I think that could be arranged..." 


	2. 2

2.  
  
JK Rowling owns Harry Potter...no idea who owns DOCTOR WHO...  
  
They exited the TARDIS. "Interesting vehicle," Dumbledore said. "How big is it?"  
"I wish I knew," the Doctor said. "Her corridors go on and on."  
"I tried to figure it out," Ace said. "Took a ball of string and   
unwound it behind me. I went through all the string we had."   
On the way out,they ran into a woman. She carried herself ramrod straight,like a Marine. Her hair was dark and pulled into a bun; her lips were thin and made her look severe. Ace liked her on sight; this is what the Doctor would look like if he were a woman. The Nurse, she thought.  
"Ah,Minerva. Our meeting will have to wait. May I introduce the Doctor-"   
"Ma'am." The Doctor rolled his hat down his arm and bowed.  
"-and this is Ace."  
The severe look turned into one of curiosity. "Ace? What's your real name?"  
"Dorothy McShane,ma'am."   
"Miss McShane-"   
"Please just call me Ace."  
"All right. Although Dorothy is a wonderful name."   
"L. Frank Baum thought so," Dumbledore mused. "Minerva,could you take  
Ace to the Great Hall? The Doctor and I need to find Eleanor-"  
"Sinistra's in the Astronomy Tower."  
"Precisely where we were headed."  
"This way,Doctor. Mind the stairs. Sometimes they're quite playful."  
McGonagall watched them ascend until they were both out of sight.  
She turned back to Ace with a curious look.  
"What?" Ace asked.  
"Well,you obviously aren't a late admission-"  
"I just got here with the Doctor."  
"Doctor what?"  
"Sorry?"  
"His name,Ace,his name."  
"I don't know his real name. He's always been The Doctor to me. He's from a planet called Gallifrey. He's their Lord Supreme High Know-It-All or something like that."  
"Are you an alien as well?"  
"I'm from Perivale," she said. "I just travel with the Doctor."  
A shadow fell across the wall; Ace turned to see a dark-garbed,greasy-haired man looking at her. She thought of the Master. This is his third cousin,Ace thought. The one he never talks about. "Oi,where'd you come from?"  
"Could I speak with you for a moment,Professor?" the man asked. He led her away from Ace. He spoke in a harsh whisper. "Minerva,who-"  
"I'm not twelve," Ace said. "You can ask me."  
Professor McGonagall shot such a look at the man.  
"My name is Ace."  
"Ace?"  
"Miss Dorothy McShane," Professor McGonagall said. "Otherwise known to her friends-"  
"-as Ace," Grease Factory Man finished.  
"Right," Ace said.  
"Professor Severus Snape," the man said. He was so stiff. "Known to my students and strangers as 'professor' or the much simpler to remember 'sir.'"  
Behind him,Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. "As well as a myriad of simpler terms."  
Snape smirked at McGonagall. "You have me there," he said. "Now who is that little man Albus was escorting to the astronomy tower?"  
"The Doctor."  
"The Doctor?"  
"The Doctor," Ace said.  
"May I inquire as to his field?"  
"President of the Time Lords on the planet Gallifrey."  
"Ah. I see. Of course he's from another planet...Minerva-"  
"-except he's a renegade Time Lord who got sick of his people's non-interference policy...he travels around the universe righting wrongs."   
"And where do you fit in?"  
"I'm along for the ride. See the sights, help people who can't help themselves..." She resisted the urge to say 'blow stuff up.'  
"Well," he said. He shrugged his shoulders. "I wash my hands of any   
and all responsibility."  
"Well,then,if you don't mind,Severus," McGonagall said,"I was escorting Miss McShane to the Great Hall. She happens to be on time for lunch."  
The way to the Great Hall was complicated. The stairs kept moving around.  
"Do they do that all the time?"   
"They seem to be more docile than usual," Professor McGonagall said. "I think they like you."  
Ace grinned. "So...this castle-"  
"Oh,it has a consciousness all its own. It's like a living being."  
"So does the TARDIS."  
"That's the police box in the Headmaster's office?"  
Ace nodded. "It's supposed to transform to correspond to its surroundings,but the thingy controlling it doesn't work." she paused.  
"This castle is awesome," she said.  
Professor McGonagall couldn't help grinning.  
"We were in this other one-" She was distracted by a painting on the wall; the man in the picture smiled and waved at her. "Love your hair," he said.  
"That guy...in the picture-"  
"Of course he did," the Professor said.   
"Yeah,of course," Ace said.  
They waited for a set of stairs to change; Professor McGonagall turned to Ace. "There is life on other planets,then?"  
"Oh,there's tons. Not all of it's friendly,though."  
Eventually,they found themselves in front of a huge pair of doors.  
"Here we are," Professor McGonagall said,and opened the door.  
Ace stepped inside.  
"Wow," she said. The hall was absolutely enormous. There were tables,and the ceiling-"What's with the ceiling?"  
"It's bewitched to look like the night sky."  
"So if it's a full moon,you see it in here?"  
"Exactly."  
"Wicked!"  
It was a good thing Ace turned away,because Professor McGonagall had to stifle a laugh.  
Ace surveyed the tables. "They're all kids."  
"Well,this is a school."  
"Right," Ace said. "Of course. So,they're all learning magic?"  
"Yes,they are. I think of them as my children. Some more than others. You might want to be careful. Some of them don't like Muggles."  
"What's a Muggle?"  
"One who does not use magic."  
"I've made a few things disappear," she muttered.  
"Hmmm?"   
"Can aliens be Muggles?"  
"Interesting question."  
She led Ace to a table; the kids-who varied in age-eyed her curiously.  
"Mr. Weasley," she called. "Mr. Potter."  
Two kids stood up; one of them was a goofy-looking kid with red hair and the other boy-who was shorter-wore glasses. He looked like the missing Beatle,with his hair hiding his forehead.  
"Mr. Weasley,would you and Harry entertain Ace?"  
Mr. Weasley looked so horrified."Entertain her?"  
"You know what he means," Harry said. He took Ace's arm and   
escorted her to sit down beside him.   
"Very charming,Harry." McGonagall said, "Did you see that,Albus?"  
"Everything in order,Minerva?"  
"Yes,Albus." She turned,and there he was,at his side. "How's the Doctor?"  
"He's discussing astronomy with Eleanor."  
"Good. Do you have some free time?"  
"I do."  
"My office," he said. "Ten minutes."  
"I'll be there in five."   
She managed to walk into one of the Weasley twins. "Sorry. 'Scuse me,Professor."  
"Of course,George."  
He winced. "I'm Fred."  
"I think I can tell the difference between you two by now."  
George grinned. "Part of the fun of teaching us. Who's that girl?"  
"A visitor. Don't corrupt her beyond all hope,please."  
"For you,I'll resist."  
He got out of her way; when she had passed,he strode over to his brother.  
"-tastes like gasoline," he heard Ace say,spluttering.  
"They say Every Flavor-" George began-  
"-they MEAN Every Flavor." Fred finished,from the opposite side.  
"Bertie Bott sounds like a sadistic weirdo."  
"No,he's just very committed," Harry said. "There are all sorts of   
flavors."  
"Vomit-" George said.  
"-ear wax-"  
"-blood..."  
"Ugh," Ace said.  
"Don't you think you're making the wrong impression?"  
Ace looked across the table; the girl on the other side smiled at her."Hermione Granger," she said,offering her hand.   
"Ace." She took Hermione's hand. "So...are you a good witch?"  
"She's the best we have," Ron said.   
"Those of us who haven't seen THE WIZARD OF OZ," Fred said. "They take that question literally."  
"That's Ron," Hermione said.  
"I heard."  
"These are his brothers Fred and George. He has three other brothers named Bill and Charlie and Percy and a sister named Ginny who's around here somewhere."  
"Seven kids? Wow. I would've gone nuts."  
"And this is Harry."  
"Pleased to meet you,Harry."  
He strechted across the table to shake her hand. As he did,she saw the scar on his forehead. "How'd that happen?" she asked.  
The kids grew very quiet.  
"Sorry," Ace said.  
"No," Harry said."It's not your fault. In fact,you have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone who doesn't know who I am and how I   
got this." He tapped his forehead. "I'm famous,you see. A very evil  
wizard killed my parents when I was a year old. When he tried to kill   
me,something went wrong and he lost his powers and his body-"  
"So you laid a psychic smackdown on an evil wizard when you were a baby?"  
"Yeah," Harry said. "Left me with this scar. And this wizard-his  
name is Voldemort-"  
Ron winced. He was the only one who did.  
"He's come back," Harry said. "He has a body again and he wants me dead."  
"Why does he want you dead?"  
"Because he knows I'll be his downfall."  
"Harry's beaten him four times," Hermione said. "It's become a tradition around here."  
"I don't have a mum or a dad,either." Ace said.  
"You don't?" Harry asked.  
"Nah."  
"Did they die?"  
"I don't know. I don't care."  
An owl soared down to the table,in front of Harry.  
"This is Hedwig," Harry said. He fed her something from his plate.  
"She's beautiful," Ace said. She stroked Hedwig,who cooed.  
Another owl darted around Ace's head and fluttered around the table.  
"And that's Pig."  
"Pig? What kind of name is that for an owl?"  
"Oh,all right. Pigwidgeon."  
He landed on Ace's shouleder.  
There was a letter tied to Pigwidgeon.   
Ron managed to get it and opened it.   
"What is it,Ron?"  
"It's from Mum." He read the letter. "This is weird. Apparently,  
the clock says we're all in Mortal Peril and she's worried."  
"Weird," George said.  
"Write her back and say everything's fine. We'll all sign it. You  
can sign it if you like,Ace."  
"Will you be attending Hogwarts,Ace?" Fred asked.  
"Nah," Ace said. "The Doctor and me-"  
"Who's the Doctor?"  
"You'll probably meet him later-"  
"So this is the Muggle I'm hearing about."  
Ace knew she would hate whoever she saw when she turned; the voice was full of snobbery and mean intentions. She proved herself right when she saw the little blond Nazi and the two other blobs behind him.  
"What's your problem?"  
"You're my problem," he said. "I don't like Muggles."  
"Could be worse."  
"Really."  
"I could be you,Macaulay."  
His mouth dropped open,and his eyes widened.   
"Excuse me," he said,and stumbled away. He didn't seem to have a particular destination in mind.  
Ace turned back to the kids.  
They were staring at her as if she were God.  
"Who was that git?"  
"Draco Malfoy. You just shut up Draco Malfoy."  
"His name is Draco Malfoy? Who's he kidding?"  
"I wish you were coming here," Ron said. "Where are you from,Ace?"  
"Perivale," Ace said. "The Doctor is from another planet,though. Another time."  
Harry opened his mouth to speak,but he saw the strange little man entering the Great Hall,followed by Professor Dumbledore and Madame  
Hooch.  
"Is that him?"   
Ace turned,stunned for a moment by Madame Hooch's golden eyes. "That's him."  
The Doctor smiled at Ace when he saw her. "Ah,Ace. I hate to take you away-"  
"S'alright,Doctor. What's up?"  
"Could someone show Ace around the grounds?" the Doctor asked.   
Dumbledore nodded. "I know just the man."  
He leaned in close to Ace."You'll know what you're looking for the moment you see it."  
"See you later,I hope." Harry said.  
"Bye," Ace said. 


	3. 3

3.  
  
-the HARRY POTTER characters belong to JK Rowling,and I suppose  
the BBC owns DOCTOR WHO...  
  
Dumbledore escorted Ace out of the hall. "I see you met Harry."  
"Yeah...he was nice."  
"One of our finest students."  
"Is what he said true?"  
"Every word,I imagine."  
"Did Voldemort go to school here?"  
Dumbledore nodded. "When he did,his name was Tom Riddle."  
"Has he killed a lot of people?"  
"He and his followers have murdered a large number of people."  
"You must feel terrible. Being betrayed like that,I mean."  
"If I thought about him obsessively,as if he were Moby Dick to my   
Captain Ahab,then that would be a victory for him. Besides,his   
betrayal encompassed not only the entire wizarding community,but the entire world. All those children in the Great Hall...I think of them  
all as my own,and they've been through so much...they,and my colleagues, come first in my thoughts."  
"Why would he want to kill Harry?"  
"I can't answer that," he said.  
"You can't?"  
"No,I can't."  
"Oh. Well,okay. That's a straighter answer than I usually get. So where are we going?" she asked.  
"Well,the Doctor asked that you be given a tour of the grounds. Since I have a meeting in my office in a few minutes,I can think of no better guide than our gamekeeper."  
Dumbledore opened one of the great doors; as Ace passed him, she felt a comforting heat; it surrounded him like an aura,but it warmed her,too. Professor Dumbledore was perhaps the most pleasant,most non-threatening person she had ever met. She had learned in her travels with the Doctor that this meant that he probably had totally badass powers,but used them only when neccessary. Together,they stepped onto a huge expanse of fresh grass,in the afternoon sun. The sky was solid blue,with only a few wisps of white.   
"Professor," Ace said,"Just so I know...are there any restricted areas?"  
"Only the Forbidden Forest," Dumbledore said. He pointed towards the line of trees in the distance.  
"It's actually called the Forbidden Forest?"   
"It was not named lightly."  
"Well,what's in it?"  
"There are wonderful creatures inside-unicorns. Centaurs. There are also dark and terrible things in the forest that hunger for flesh."   
Sounds like my kind of place,Ace thought.  
"However,if you must venture into the forest,Hagrid will accompany you."  
Ace looked up at him. His eyes,blue as the sky, were twinkling,as if he had just read her mind.  
"If there were more time," he said,"I would ask you all sorts of questions."  
"About what?  
"I'm quite curious about the places you've been,and the things you've seen."  
"I'm sure you've seen a lot."  
"Indeed,I have,Miss...Ace."  
"This place is incredible," she said.  
"Most people aren't able to see it," Dumbledore said.   
"Why not?"  
"Enchantments that make it look old and abandoned."  
"So all of this should look wrecked to me?"  
"It should,but for whatever reason,it doesn't. I'm glad you like it. Not  
all wizards care for-"  
"I heard. This kid-"  
"Was it Draco Malfoy?"  
"Yeah. Usual suspect?"  
"Rather,yes. He comes from a family of wizards-"  
"And they look down on normal people?"  
"As well as wizards from families with no wizarding tradition."  
"What about you?"  
"I wish such feelings weren't prevalent. In either of our societies."  
"Yeah," Ace said.  
"I hope Mr. Malfoy didn't sour your visit."  
"No chance," Ace said. "Everyone else-I've met Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape-"  
"I'm sure that was fun."  
"I liked him."  
"He's good at heart...he may seem otherwise-"  
"I thought he was cool."  
"I'll let him know. He'll never live it down." 


	4. 4

Ace began to notice the pumpkins. They were nearing another building;  
in the back,there was a pumpkin patch. Some of them were way too big. "What's with the pumpkins?" she asked.  
"Hagrid grows them."   
They went around to the front of the hut; Ace thought it looked like something out of a fairy tale. Dumbledore knocked on the door. From inside,a dog began barking.   
"Hagrid?" Dumbledore called.  
The door opened slightly. A man with a huge,bushy beard stuck his head through the crack. "Afternoon,Professor...Be right out."  
A moment passed.   
"Did the Doctor give you that lemon drop?"  
"Lemon drop?"  
Dumbledore handed her a lemon drop.  
"Thank you," she said.  
"Just don't bang your head while you eat it."  
"Headbanging gives me a headache. So does moshing. What about you?"  
"Metal has a wonderful,driving beat,but I prefer chamber music."  
"Not much room to slam into people."  
"No,there certainly isn't."  
"I like jazz,too," Ace said.  
Dumbledore nodded. "What about punk rock?"  
"Well,come on,we practically invented it."  
"We did,didn't we?"  
"Do all wizards love music as much as you?"  
"Music is a kind of magic we all share,wizard or otherwise."  
Then the door swung open.   
Ace had seen a lot of things traveling with the Doctor,but nothing had prepared her for Hagrid. She tried not to gape at the enormous man.  
"Hagrid,may I present Ace."  
"Rubeus Hagrid," said the gigantic man. He offered his hand and Ace took it with both of hers. His grip was firm but unexpectedly gentle. He looked like he ate steel for breakfast.  
"Give Ace a tour of the grounds,please,Hagrid. Including the forest."  
Hagrid raised his eyebrows. "The forest,sir?"  
Dumbledore nodded. "Just to be sure. Pardon me,I have a meeting..."  
He trailed off; both Ace and Hagrid stared at him for a moment. They  
followed his gaze to the sky. There were people in the sky,riding a broom. They circled around once,and then landed near the group.   
The Doctor stepped off of the broom. He kissed Madame Hooch's hand.  
"Madame,that was exhilarating," he said.  
"My pleasure," Madame Hooch said. She was the most interesting teacher yet; she had spiky white hair and golden yellow eyes.  
"Did you find anything,Doctor?" Dumbledore asked.  
"No,Headmaster." The Doctor said. "Nothing. I'm sorry."  
"No need ta be sorry," Hagrid said.   
"Doctor,this is Hagrid,our gamekeeper."  
The Doctor smiled at Hagrid.  
"He's right. I can never have too much reassurance that Hogwarts is safe. Hagrid, Madame,I have an appointment. Give Ace and the Doctor any assistance they may need."  
"We shouldn't be here much longer,Headmaster," the Doctor said.  
"It was a pleasure meeting you,Doctor." He turned to Ace. "Remember what I told you." His eyes twinkled. Then he turned and left them.  
"What did he tell you?" the Doctor asked.  
"We talked about all sorts of stuff," Ace said.   
A shrill whistle pierced the air; it was coming from inside the hut.  
"Forgot about the tea," Hagrid said. "Anyone want some?"  
"I would," Madame Hooch said.  
Hagrid went back in the hut. He came back with a cup of tea. Madame Hooch accepted it; they waited for her to finish it. She gave the cup back to Hagrid,who put it in one of the pockets of his coat.  
"Well,where shall we begin?"  
"Where indeed?" the Doctor said. "Where would you start,Hagrid?"  
"Here," Hagrid said. "I'd wander around."  
"To the greenhouse,maybe,Hagrid?" Madame Hooch teased.  
Hagrid's cheeks turned red. "Or the forest. What're yeh lookin' fer?"  
"Don't know," Ace said.   
"Yeh don't?"  
"We'll know it if we see it."  
"Then let's try the greenhouse," Hagrid said.  
He led them across the campus; as they walked,Madame Hooch hung back.   
"You saw Hagrid blush,didn't you?"  
"Why did he do that?" the Doctor asked.  
"He fancies Professor Sprout. She fancies him. You'll understand better when you see her. Not that I'd ever laugh at the two of them. They're dear friends of mine and I love them both-"  
"What was that?" Hagrid asked.  
Madame Hooch clapped Hagrid hard on the shoulder. To him,it probably felt like a light tap. "We love you,Hagrid."  
"That's somethin' I can't hear enough."  
Madame Hooch chuckled.  
"Evil laugh," Ace said.  
"She's on our side,Ace."  
"Madame Hooch?" Ace called.  
"-gai. GAI means CHICKEN. If I called you 'big guy'...did you say something, Ace?"  
"Are there any evil teachers here?"  
"No,there aren't," she said. "Unless you count Professor Snape."  
"What's his problem,anyway?"  
"He used to be a Death Eater."  
"Is that anything like a sineater?" the Doctor asked.  
"He lost his way,and became a follower of Voldemort."  
"'E's real tormented," Hagrid said. "But Snape's one of us."  
"We only teach Defense against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. To learn dark magic, you'd have to go to a school like Durmstrang-"  
"Oh,there are more magic academies like this?" the Doctor asked.  
"All over the place," Hagrid said. "I shouldn'ta said that."  
"Nonsense,Hagrid,I'm sure we can trust them."  
"Oh,we won't say a word," said the Doctor.  
They came upon not one but three buildings which were obviously greenhouses.  
"Adrianna should be in number one today."  
She pushed the door open,and-  
"STOP RIGHT THERE!"  
A burst of guitar blasted from the greenhouse doors.  
"AH GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW..."  
Professor Sprout,her back to the group,swiveled her hips; she sang along with the music. She was covered with dirt from head to toe,which was not a long expanse.   
"'Paradise By The Dashboard Light'?" Ace wondered aloud,trying to   
comprehend all the weird plants.  
"Addie," Madame Hooch shouted.  
Professor Sprout spun around. She saw Madame Hooch and grinned.   
She clapped once and the music stopped.  
"Afternoon,Therese." She almost whispered "Hello,Hagrid."  
"'Lo,Sprout," he said,looking at his boots.  
"Charmed,Professor," the Doctor said,taking off his hat.  
"I didn't know we were having guests today," she said.  
"No one else did,either," the Doctor said. "I'm the Doctor. That's my  
friend Ace."  
"Oh...well,pleased to meet you,Ace. Feel free to look around the greenhouse, if you'd like."  
"C'mon," Hagrid said,"I'll show you 'round."  
He and Madame Hooch led Ace away.  
"You picked a lovely day to visit us," said Professor Sprout. "I take it you met the Headmaster?"  
"We did."  
"He hired a group of classical musicians to play for the plants one day. They loved it. Jury's out on Meat Loaf. They respond well to   
BAT OUT OF HELL II but nothing happened with WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. Of course,they love the Beatles."  
"I've never met anyone who didn't. Actually,I have,but they were mostly megalomaniacal lunatics."  
"The only negative reaction so far has been for this American band called Limp Bizkit. Nearly killed everything. Ever heard them?"  
"Once or twice. Never a whole song."  
"They didn't like it at all. Neither did I."  
"Professor,I'd like to ask you a few questions."  
"Go right ahead."  
"Have you seen anything strange lately?"  
"I see strange things every day. Strange and wonderful things."  
"I know the feeling." 


	5. 5

5.  
  
A distance away,Ace walked through a soft,willowy plant. Its tendrils   
tickled her face. She turned a corner and saw a boy working  
silently,potting some strange purple flowers. Hagrid came out behind Ace and saw the boy.  
"All right,Neville?" he asked.  
The boy's eyes sprung open,as if he were about to panic,but he managed to hold steady."Hi,Hagrid," he said.   
"Neville Longbottom," Madame Hooch told Ace,as if it were something  
she should remember. She she stepped out where Neville could see her.  
"Hello,Madame Hooch."  
"Need any help,Neville?"  
"No,I-" he nearly dropped the plant-holder.  
Madame Hooch steadied it. "There we go," she said.  
"Thanks," Neville said.  
"Neville,this is Ace."  
"Oh," he said. "Are you new?"  
"I'm just visiting." Ace said.  
"Then you're a muggle?"  
"She's a guest,Neville." Madame Hooch said.  
"Right,of...of course," he stumbled. "I'm sorry,I was just-"  
"Nonsense,Neville," Professor Sprout said from behind Hagrid. "It's time you took a break. Go on outside and analyze some sun."  
"Okay."  
Outside,the Doctor stood,skygazing in a dejected manner.  
He heard the greenhouse door open.   
"Nothing," he said. "I was sure there would be something other than  
nothing,but I seem to have been misled."   
"Doctor," said Sprout,edging towards Hagrid,"I think you might be   
going about your search in the wrong way."  
He turned to look at Sprout."I'm open to suggestions."  
Professor Sprout raised her eyebrows. "Maybe what you're looking for is already here."  
"I was just thinkin' the same," Hagrid said.  
"I hope not," the Doctor said.   
"We're going to have to look in the forest," Ace said.  
"Not again," Neville moaned. Hagrid steadied him.  
"Where else could they be hiding?"  
"Who are 'they' exactly?"  
"Have any of you ever seen an alien?"  
"Just you,so far," Sprout said.   
"No aliens,plenty of magic," the Doctor said,"Yes..."  
"Do go on," Madame Hooch said.  
"Daleks," the Doctor said.  
"What are Daleks?"  
"Picture a human liver with tentacles. Now encase it inside an armored biomechanical shell. Add to that a desire to kill everything in sight and rule the universe."  
"An intelligent...machine?" Neville asked.  
"Yes," the Doctor said.  
"The forest would be an ideal hiding place," Madame Hooch said.  
"Of course,there's Hogsmeade."  
"Hogsmeade?"  
"It's not far from here."  
"Does anyone live in Hogsmeade?"  
"Oh yes."  
"Then they're in mortal danger."   
The Doctor began walking away. Then he turned. "Come on,Ace,we're  
going to Hogsmeade."  
Ace started after him.  
She looked back at the others.   
"Anyone else want to come along?" 


End file.
